Mors Nihil Est, Ipsaque mors nihil
by Eric Blair
Summary: What went thru the minds of those we saw being instrumentalized by the end? were they happy? Were they glad? will they have chosen a different path? The last piece of the puzzle, a onehour oneshot companion to the other three pieces and the final one.


**Mors Nihil Est.**

He can't believe he's crying.

Why is he crying, why does he feel pain? Why would he be feeling pain?

Why does she wants him to feel pain?

Gendo can't believe he'd been such a fool; he can't believe this was all for nothing; all the lies, all the scheming. All the hours spent in self-flagelation, torturing himself over the things he had lost, and losing what he had.

_Will she ever forgive him for what he did?_

-----

She can't believe the ecstasy she is in.

How can she feel so much love, warm and pure and inviting, the kind one feels when confronted by the one she thought was gone?

Maya knows this might be a dream, bit she's never felt so safe, so complete...and for that she doesn't want to wake up. She wants to remain forever in her _Sempai's_ embrace.

_Will this ever stop?_

_-----_

He can't believe she's here.

All of his life Makoto has been watching from afar, feeling as she slips away. He was always the go-to...the reliable one; So he sees her coming for him, it's what he has wanted, and yet he feels so afraid.

_Will he ever be with her?_

_-----_

He can't believe any of this.

We he sees them becoming this, when he feels her becoming him, Aoba realzes he never ad anyone to rely on, no one to share his life with. He was always the aloof one, the loner, the odd man out.

_Will he ever have someone for him?_

-----

She can't believe it would end like this.

The children she saw as her own, the boy for whom she cared, the girl with whom she identified with are battling, having one last stand.

As she lies in a pool of her own blood, Misato realizes that she was never what they wanted her to be; she knows she was not the guardian they needed, nor the companion they expected; She was only in it for her own personal gan; to appease the demons that live with her.

_Will she ever be forgiven by them?_

-----

She can't believe she would choose him.

Her own mother has shinned Rituko on the moment she needed her the most, she knew it was bound to happen, she knew as a woman she would have done the same, but she still feels betrayed by the memory of _her _choosing _him_.

_Will she ever be the one to gain something, anything out of this?_

-----

And as all souls converge becoming one, as Hikari and Kensuke mix with Toji, as the member of SELEE shuffle out of this mortal coil, as Kaworu and Rei hand the fate of the world to Shinji, they all realize this is the end of lofe as they know it.

_Is this really what it means to die?_

-----

And as Shinji feels Asuka's warm finger on his face, and as Asuka feels Shinji's warm tears on her cheeks, the only thing they can think of the same.

Is death the final stage in life? Did they make the right decision in deciding to reject becoming one with world?

Hours will pass, or perhaps days, and when they witness the pale white face of a smiling Rei Ayanami, her red blood eyes following them everywhere, they will think of all the people they knew, all the thoughts they saw, all the lifes they spent and realize the truth of it all.

Death is nothing.

_Mors Nihil Est._

Even death is nothing unto death in itself.

_Ipsaque Mors Nihil._

_-----_

_AN._

_Well, this marks the end of this challenge for me. It was something different for me to write, and I enjoyed taking the liberties and exploring the children mind._

_Shinji's piece was more story driven, since we all know how he felt by the end._

_Asuka's was more rushed, because she lived it in a series of flashes._

_Rei's was shared since Rei is no more Rei than she is all the other Reis, as well as Yui and Lilith; the sum of all parts that begat Rei Ayanami._

_And as for the rest of them, I wanted to put all of SELEE, it would have been nice to pick Keel's mind apart, but I did have to adhere to the one hour time frame._

_The other three only took me between planning and research about 30-45 mins, this one stretched it by about a minute or so._

_I hope all you reading like it, I hope it served the purpose of the challenge as well as showed some insight into what might have been going in the mind of them all._

_Good reading and tidings to all who liked it, to those who not, let me know how way off you all think I was._

_And to the Big Brothers, I was glad to be apart of this for as long as I was._

_EB  
_


End file.
